Have you ever just been so happy that the day was going so well until you got onto social media? You may have posted something that you thought was kind yet someone else ripped you a new one? Or saw posts about politics, people arguing about opinions, or who is right or wrong? At first, you could have thought “I thought I would enjoy just a little scroll through Facebook to see accomplishments of others, baby pictures and some funny posts here and there” but after the few joyful posts, you saw a lot of posts that were negative, hateful, and just down right disrespectful. Yeah, I have had this happen too and its one of the reasons I decided to take Facebook off my phone and put boundaries on how much time I am on social media.
Social media can be a great way to connect, share thoughts and post about the things we are currently doing or love, but a lot of the time I feel that Facebook can be a war zone and just down right miserable. Not only that, but it can be very addicting to just scroll when you have nothing to do or you are just bored. This year I decided I really didn’t want my life to be social media filled. I also made a decision a long time ago that I wasn’t going to argue, post hard views, or degrading posts or comments…which is hard to do because it seems anything can be taken wrong or you have to fight the fleshly desire to want to comment or respond.
In addition, I was trying to find joy and some happiness through my Facebook but I was realizing it was creating more anxiety than I wanted it to. I had to be honest with myself and decided that I wasn’t going to be a mom/person who wanted to be on Facebook to find false security or joy, social popularity, or just be on it because I was bored. There is so much to life and I find out that I enjoy life so much more when I am not looking through a screen all the time.
This doesn’t mean I wont go on Facebook or other social sites. I just limit what I want to see and I don’t feel bad about it nor do I feel bad about unfollowing or deleting a person who is very strongly opposing my thoughts or arguing because they feel the need to prove a point or win. I’m all in support of people having the rights to say how they feel, I just believe there’s a better way to do so. It’s not worth the stress or drama to fight with people I hardly know or with people who only care for their opinions to be heard and accepted. For me, it is better to discuss any type of view I have that could become heated in person instead of through social sites. Plus why would I want to express my view when so many comments get ignored, exploited or argued with because someone was offended or needs to prove their point to win. This is really just what I have seen mostly.
So this is what I do instead. I do what I like to call “the look and listen option.” I do not feel I am inferior for not stating my view or feel that I am not standing up for what I believe in just because I didn’t post or comment on someone else’s opinion. This option has allowed me to take a non-aggressive approach to someone’s views and to listen instead of wanting to be heard. I know this can be hard to do and I know I am guilty of saying some hurtful things, but by keeping this in mind and rewriting my brain to think this way, I can allow for the other person to be heard. If you feel the desire to really express your thoughts maybe kindly ask them if you could talk on the phone, Skype, or in person. I have done this and sometimes it turns out great and other times it is what it is. You don’t have to agree with them, but there are kind ways to respond to a person and how you react tells a lot about you.
This is just what strive to I do. I am not saying to stop posting views, thoughts or opinions, but to really think about how to react and what you want to say. Anyway, this is what has helped me want to understand the other person and to respond in a way that I would want to be responded too. Thank you for reading! What are some kind ways that have helped you responded kindly?