There was a time in my life when anxiety ruled over me. I would wake up feeling a burning sensation in my chest and my heart would pound what seemed like a million miles a minute. My body ached and my heart always felt heavy. When I would lay down to go to sleep, I would just lay there for hours hoping I would get to sleep. I tried baths, massage, and meditational music to help ease my soul. It helped some but in the end it always lead back to the same road.
My life was like a record stuck on repeat
When I started to pursue God, I wondered what does that mean and does God really heal broken people who have made mistakes. At that time I didn’t know it but the answer is yes. He does heal the wounded heart. Not always or in every circumstance, and I may never understand Him to the fullest, but God still heals. As I reached out to God more, I started to understand what people meant when they felt His presence around them. It was soothing but I doubted it was actually Him. I wasn’t ready to give him everything and I doubted that my anxiety would leave for good. When my husband and I started to go to church, I heard the preachers speaking about scripture and stories of healing. Because they had received healing, I started to act like the pastors because I really wanted to see if God was real and able to move in my life.
I started reading scripture over myself and started to repeat phrases such as “God did not give me a spirit of anxiety. Anxiety you must leave! “I would say it over and over and over, day after day after day. My dried worn soul needed nourishment and it needed to uproot the lies of anxiety over my head. One day I found the verses Proverbs 3:5-6 and I just kept repeating this passage until my heart knew the truth it had been craving. I don’t remember if I fell to my knees and cried for the Lord to take this burden, knowing myself I probably did, but I do remember repeating words of affirmation over myself. I did this until the day I became set free from anxiety.
I knew anxiety did not ruler over my life anymore, but I struggled to keep the peace that God gave me. I would find myself still having days of worry and anxiety but I never gave up and knew that the pursuit of God would transform me further. I had to realize, and sometimes still have to realize, that God is always knocking at our doors but we have to make the choice to pursue him wholeheartedly. I decided I wanted to wholeheartedly know God, know my identity in Christ and rebuke the lies from the devil and become free. I was desperate and needed God. I knew He was the One that transformed me. Trust me I tried everything. False trust in things, meditation and even people. I started getting ride of things and stopped watching shows that were causing me to fall and started to live a life style that would honor God.
I have now lived 4 years without that burning anxiety or pain. I can fall asleep and wake up in joy not panic. I am not as afraid as I once was. Don’t get me wrong as I am human and still worry and have anxiety here and there but I know how to handle it. I know that there are people out there who are reading this who want so badly to not have anxiety. I know there are people who have anxiety to the point of being on medication. If you are on medication, please consult with a doctor before ever discontinuing your medication. However, My story of healing is very real and until I pursed God I did not receive healing. Everything else was like a Band-Aid trying to cover up a gushing wound. I would love the chance to pray for you and pray the God of peace over your heart.
If you struggle with anxiety today would you please consider commenting below? I would love the chance to pray for you!Please follow and share with someone who needs to hear this. Thank you!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.