In June I decided it was for the best to step back and post 2 times a month. In addition, there is a lot going on in the world, and my voice doesn’t need to be made known on “how tos”, makeup, or anything else right now. In making this decision, I have taken some time to refresh and refocus my thoughts on why I am doing a blog, YT, and in pursuit of my kids book being published. I am still not 100% back on my feet but I am starting to make some changes to my life to better it.
One of the major things that has helped me is getting more sleep, hanging with friends, and taking vitamins and minerals. In addition to this, I am drinking a green collagen boost drink and it has helped wonders. Now, I am not a doctor nor am I giving you advice. I can’t say that this is the best route or will even work for everyone but I wanted to go this route first before trying medication; a decision my doctor and I made. Someone pointed out that I should just get on medication and that’s not a very wise or helpful response in my opinion. I know they mean well but my doctor explained that some people can become dependent on medication for the rest of there life. There are some people who may benefit with medication and that is to be discussed between you and your doctor but I wanted to explore all options before/if I had to take medication. I’m not against it and if you do take medication daily there is nothing wrong with that and there should be NO shame because of it.
But since I have opened up on parts of my mental health journey, so many people have reached out asking if I am okay along with how they are/have been depressed and how they have battled it in the past. It’s making me realize how many people suffer with depression yet no one talks about it. I want to know why that is?? When I started my journey of having my beautiful babies, I never read about womens postpartum depression or any type of mental health issues because I never could find any on the internet. That doesn’t mean they aren’t there but I wonder if there is just not that many because people don’t care about mental health issues or PPD. But that’s going to have to change.
To many people are depressed, suffering from mental illnesses and no one cares. Also, if you are like me and just have a hard time in general with being pregnant, giving birth, and postpartum you will understand where I am coming from. At times I struggle because part of me wants another child but the process to bring one into the world is a long, very hard, process for myself and my family. It’s a decision that we, Ben and I, have to make as a family. We have to decided if the pros outweigh the cons and I know some people have voiced their unsolicited concerns/opinions as to why we should not have a third child but to be frank, the choice is not up to them. To me, if I am going to have another baby I will take the steps to make sure my family will be okay; whether that be hiring a babysitter, doula, or having a family member come and help me. I love my kids and just because something is hard doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.
However, that being said I understand the hard road we would be choosing to take but that doesn’t mean we should suffer or “pay” for our choices. Thankful this isn’t a decision I have to make or think about today and I can sit back and enjoy the time I have with my wonderful boys. But my goal in writing this is to be able to help someone going through the same or similar experience as me. To let them know they are not alone and there is hope. If you have a story you want me to share in my postings please contact me through my email listed on my contact page. In addition, I am here to listen to you and I want to open up the space for you to talk and be heard. So feel free To leave a comments below to express yourself.
This may be the unpopular opinion but I’m just going to say it and some of you won’t even care…..Why does our culture think mental health isn’t serious?? Why do we think moms can just bounce back after birth instantly? As a mom of 2 and going through postpartum depression, I understand just a glimpse of how it feels to have your emotions, and hormones out of place. I can’t imagine a mom just having a baby and having to go right back to work a week or 3 months later. Postpartum Depression is HARD, it SUCKS, and it isn’t something I WANT to HAVE!! It doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom, person, or anything else it just means I’m depressed and most days I’m tired. I’m not a BURDEN even though I feel like I am and sometimes I feel like I’m complaining. And sometimes family and friends aren’t able to help or understand. And that’s OKAY! I don’t expect you to but I’d love the help if your willing to give. And if I have to beg and pled then it’s not worth it. And sometimes saying nothing at all is the best instead of “I’ve done this so can you” or “why doesn’t she just get put on this or do this” or “why didn’t YOU reach out?” Doesn’t help…in addition, why didn’t YOU see if I was okay? Probably for many understandable reasons but just letting you know this doesn’t help us in the slightest. Making me feel guilty as if I didn’t already have enough emotional chaos going on. Most of the time people try to sympathize with you but they just really can’t grasp what’s going on (unless you have been through this) so they say things like “you’ll get through this” or “your going to be okay” but what I want you to say is this…..
Nothing!!! I just want you to listen or just reach out to see if I’m okay. And no I also don’t want you to pity me because I’m not broken either. I want compassion, a shoulder to cry on, lean on and someone to talk with. Someone to pray for me or send me a quick ‘I’m thinking of you’ text. There are days I want to be alone and just think about how I can feel better and what I need to do to feel better. Sometimes I want to talk on the phone or see someone in person. Sometimes I just want to sit back with no noise and just pray. And don’t even get me started on asking for help cause when you do only the truest of true will figure a way to help. Whether that be coming over, cooking food, sending a gift, or just plain listening to you vent. Well, I’m done with my little rant And if you ARE A PERSON who is suicidal please; please reach out to suicidal hotlines. There is no shame in this and you are a strong individual for searching for help. You are worth it in this world even if you feel no one cares or is showing you it. You are loved and I hope by sharing this post it will help someone like me.Bethany Anne