*picture of my tummy below*
Mentality has a lot to do with how we view life and ourselves. I’ve spent years trying to fix my body. I hated my chin, my thighs, and my love handles. For years, its been very difficult to love myself. It doesn’t come naturally to love myself. I was taught makeup, being skinny, and being put together was beauty and there was no room for in between. I would try to work out all the time, eat “healthy” or eat less yet I still found my heart in despair. Recently, I wrote a post about negative talk and wanting to love my body. (Click here) I am trying so hard to follow my own advice yet I still find myself struggling. I think it has a lot to do with how I feel in the inside. I feel unaccomplished, and my personal goals are not being met. I feel a lack like I’ve never felt before and I know the only person who will and can fill that void is Jesus.
I think we go through hard years to refine our attitudes and place value on what really is important. Trust me I’ve been on this refinement journey for years but it’s on a bigger scale this time. I have kids and I want my kids to see me as a mom who loves herself and not someone who hates her flaws.. I know God and Ben do not think I’m ugly or imperfect, yet I am struggling to hold onto God and positivity most days. I’m feeling very lost and I know my repetitive conversations with my husband are driving him bonkers…he may not say it but I can feel it. I want so badly to be content with my image and who God created me to be. I want to be content with everything. I know that the way to do this is through spending time with God. I want so badly to see myself as God sees me. I’m not sure why I’m putting so much value in these places but I am. I have come so far from the girl I once was but I still am a work in progress. I stopped writing about my body image workout blogs because I felt poor about myself but I have changed since then. Would y’all still like to see a before and after??
🌿 Please pray for my heart as I am duking out some nasty roots. Pray I choose happiness and joy instead of sadness and discontent. Pray I find my value in the Lord and that I have peace! What places are you lacking today?
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