Oh my goodness…
I can not believe it’s been a year since you were born sweet baby boy. And before I get started I know its been a tough year for everyone and I’m not denying the sadness, pain, and heartache this last year has brought people; however, I am choosing to keep this post lighthearted. So I am choosing to focus on him right now and the blessing he is to me. Trust me he was supposed to be born in the middle of December 2019, but God knew he needed to be born at the right time and In The right place. With each of my pregnancies I find something new about myself as a mom and individual. This time I went through a refining process of my attitude and I am super thankful for it. My pregnancy was not the easiest but it wasn’t the hardest too. I spent the first trimester like most pregnant women do with there head resting ever so gently on the rim of a dirty toilet seat. Second trimester was better and I craved beans and burritos. I stayed lighthearted throughout most of the pregnancy and was able to go for walks and care for the basic needs of the house while making sure Jedi was happy, fed and given my utmost attention.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jeremiah 29:11
My birth was to be a home birth which I labored out till 10cm until I felt to uncomfortable. I decided it was best to go in, get an epidural and rest. Yes, at 10cm I got an epidural. You bet ya I stayed still to get it to. Three hours later, after a beautiful, much needed nap my cervical lip loosened and I began to push. I pushed for about 3 hours until my beautiful baby boy made his appearance into this wonderful world. 26 hours of pain and labor and he was out. All 9.8 lbs of him. His umbilical cord was so long it wrapped around him quite a few times. I was told it was basically as long as me. He didn’t breathe right away so he needed to be wheeled to the NICU where they found a cyst on his brain, bleeding, he was jaundice, and his lung had a hole in it…which I can’t remember the right terminology for that right now… There is something about having to trust God when your baby is wheeled away because of complications. You HAVE to trust that God is in control and that only He knows the future. Ben and I would go there everyday because I wanted to be with him and so we could deliver milk to him or nurse him. We would buzz at the door to be let in, scrub our hands and arms for 1minute and 30 seconds, and then get to see our precious boy. Let me tell you though, I cried everyday he was in there and I cried even harder when I saw a small baby, wrapped up in the nurses arms being brought to a couple to say their final goodbyes. I know I am a very blessed mama as my baby was able to come home with me after five days of monitoring. It shows me just how precious these little ones lives are and that we need to protect them at all cost. I didn’t know the outcome of the circumstances even though I could have faith for the best. These moments make you either rely on God or turn you away from Him. I am so glad God showed His unconditionally love to me as I questioned Him, praised Him, hated Him, loved him and leaned on Him durning that time.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Now my Sweet boy is climbing up on the furniture, poking at his brother, and just talking and walking everywhere. Oddly he is shy but very bold at trying new things. Either way he is special in my heart and I love him dearly. He loves almost all foods savory and hates bananas. He loves giving high fives, mama cuddles and playing outside….he also likes to try to eat things that are not food to. He is my little go getter who started walking by himself at 9/10 months old. He is my explore,my cutie pie with beautiful eyes and just a beautiful baby boy. Oliver I know you and your brother will be the best of friends. Your sweet brother loves you and you two love to hug and kiss each other all the time. You two are a blessing from the Lord and I know you will do powerful things in His name. Yes, 2020 has been hard for some and yes it’s been hard for me…but in many ways it’s been the best year. You know they say that perfect vision is 20/20…maybe that is what last year was all about. Finding the right focus, people and values to set our eyes on. For me it is this two little boys and my husband. I hope you will start your year off with your head held high and your vision of life clearer. God bless!
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