Personal Revalations

Mercy & Humbleness


This week has been an interesting week to say the least…and I am super excited that 500+ of you wonderful people are here!! And I know y’all are waiting eagerly to see my transformation and it’s coming soon!!

I posted a video thinking it would be a positive things and it turned out to have mixed reviews…you can check it out for yourself on my Instagram page and if your not following me there I’d love it if you would join me there as I’m posting about body positivity, faith, motherhood, and and other stuff too. Anyway, the Lord has been reiterating that I need a heart attitude change. I am not humble nor and I having mercy on social media. I get bitter about social media actually because the way I look at social media is if I am standing right in front of you as if you weren’t behind a screen. So I found out 3 things about myself that I want to share.

First, I get hurt really easily when people are rude or think they know it all. A lot of this stems from childhood issues that I’m not going to get into now. I am fragile almost and get booty hurt over things easily…dear lord I pray my skin will become thick and my heart soft.

Second, I’m loosing my sense of Jesus. I so desperately want to be a light unto others on social media as well as in everyday life but I’m finding myself getting trapped in “success is through the worlds eyes” and my worth/identity is through how many likes and follows I have gotten. Obviously deep down I know that’s not true but I can’t shake this feeling no matter what I do. I’ve openly shared about it, prayed and whatever else but I still am getting consumed by it.

Thirdly, I am lacking mercy and humbleness. I think because If I have a profound post that people should like it…oh man am I a proud person. I want and need and think about me but social media, just like in real life, isn’t about you. It’s about Jesus. If God has called me to write and get 0 likes and few followers then that is his will and I MUST accept that He is in control. I was reminded this week that it starts with just one person and God oversees the masses. It’s not my job to control or influence everyone or anyone.

So I’m still working on my attitude and feeling comfortable in my own skin. Also speaking of skin I know you all are waiting so patiently to see my year end results and all I can say is soon they will be revealed. 😊

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17 comments

  1. I understand what you are speaking about! Sometimes I have felt disappointed when writing with no response, then God asks me who am I doing it for? Ultimately Jesus gets the glory. Thank you for your post! God bless

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought for some reason I’d commented then realized I got pulled away before hitting send. 🙂 I just wanted to say I really appreciate your honesty. This is all such familiar territory for me!I will try not to make this long, but I wanted to share a bit with you. It has been quite a road for me, several blogging attempts, and lots of time on my knees with this whole writing thing. I was always anxiously checking stats, follows, likes. I wanted this to be the springboard to success. I hoped I would finally feel like somebody. Oddly enough, getting my book published a few years ago is what showed me how off course I was in my thinking! I was so grateful to see my dream fulfilled and still am. I know though it was no worldly success, it nevertheless touched the hearts He intended for it to reach. Yet, frankly, that time became one of the unhappiest of my life. I found my personality completely unsuited to the promoting required and the numbers game that much more agonizing for me. I finally felt God press upon me to walk away for a time and allow Him to work on my heart. It took me two years before I could pick up my writing pen again and I determined some ground rules. I rarely check stats, only vaguely look at how many followers I have, and write only when He so inspires. And I have seen Him drawing folks in and providing sweeter fellowship than I have ever known, all without a stitch of promotion. I’m still not the biggest game in town by any means, but I am finding things that matter more to me. I pray He can help you place it all in His hands. Beautiful things happen as we allow for that. Now, that said, I really hope that comes off right. Not trying to say everyone should do as I do. 🙂 Everyone’s journey is unique and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the desire to see your work succeed. I pray He continues to bless it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I understand all of what you said and it hits home 100%. I am glad that you shared this all with me and It came off very kind. I really want the lord to be center stage so I may need to step away from the social sites that are inducing the feeling of being unworthy or where I’m wrapping my identity in. Thank you so much for sharing!! I appreciate it so so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, your second point is so honest. It’s very courageous to admit something like that, which I think a lot of blogs tend to hide. Realizing that you’re “finding myself getting trapped in “success is through the worlds eyes”” is a very good thing to realize! People can fall for that without even noticing, but you noticed it. I hope the Holy Spirit guides you through that 🙂

    PS: Congrats on 500+ followers! Is one just for email? I’m not sure what I just pressed, but I pressed it like fifty times. Haha

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No some are Facebook peeps and then I think 315 here. I have like 9 email which is OKAY! 🤪 I am praying that I will just find value in the lord and I really strive to be authentic so I wanted to be honest. Thank you!!

      Liked by 2 people

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