Last night I had a dream about my past friends that are no longer apart of my life. In the dream I went to each friend and saw them for who they are now. I apologized to some for my behavior and steered clear of those I resented. I saw there empty faces and there was no life in them. In the dream my husband was passed and my kids were not there.
When I woke up I thought it was a strange dream to have. Recently I had been wondering about old bf, and past friends that did not meet eye to eye and wondered if I should reach back out to them for good measure.
As I have been contemplating this dream and if I should reach out…I felt the Lord say to “keep the old doors shut” and to move forward instead of backwards. That those seeds have already “died” and no longer need to be uprooted. That I do not need to longer on past sins and past mistakes. That there are new seeds being planted and there is an abundance of fruit waiting ahead…however God also showed me how much of a crutch My past hurt and abuse has been. I have been hindering myself from being truly myself, honest, and confident of opening up to family about beliefs and ways we live. It has been a dark shadow of “I am still wounded” when I truly am not wounded. I have been made new by Jesus blood and been given grace to forgive those in the past.
Ive realized letting good hurt is so hard to do at times because the flesh really loves to hold grudges. It does not allow for grace when we mess up or for when others mess up. It is selfish but we have to choose to let go and keep the door shut. So that being said I am working on this and also being grateful. I realized I have not given gratefulness and recognition to God for all he has done for me. Let it be known in this post that I am truly grateful for being human. That there is grace if I am wrong and that God covers me where I am weak. Where do y’all have a place that you need to shut the door behind you? Let’s chat and pray for healing. ✌🏼