Personal Revalations

Keep It Shut


Last night I had a dream about my past friends that are no longer apart of my life. In the dream I went to each friend and saw them for who they are now. I apologized to some for my behavior and steered clear of those I resented. I saw there empty faces and there was no life in them. In the dream my husband was passed and my kids were not there.

When I woke up I thought it was a strange dream to have. Recently I had been wondering about old bf, and past friends that did not meet eye to eye and wondered if I should reach back out to them for good measure.

As I have been contemplating this dream and if I should reach out…I felt the Lord say to “keep the old doors shut” and to move forward instead of backwards. That those seeds have already “died” and no longer need to be uprooted. That I do not need to longer on past sins and past mistakes. That there are new seeds being planted and there is an abundance of fruit waiting ahead…however God also showed me how much of a crutch My past hurt and abuse has been. I have been hindering myself from being truly myself, honest, and confident of opening up to family about beliefs and ways we live. It has been a dark shadow of “I am still wounded” when I truly am not wounded. I have been made new by Jesus blood and been given grace to forgive those in the past.

Ive realized letting good hurt is so hard to do at times because the flesh really loves to hold grudges. It does not allow for grace when we mess up or for when others mess up. It is selfish but we have to choose to let go and keep the door shut. So that being said I am working on this and also being grateful. I realized I have not given gratefulness and recognition to God for all he has done for me. Let it be known in this post that I am truly grateful for being human. That there is grace if I am wrong and that God covers me where I am weak. Where do y’all have a place that you need to shut the door behind you? Let’s chat and pray for healing. ✌🏼

15 comments

  1. Ah, yes, how well I understand this! I have struggled for a long while on keeping some doors closed. There’s the church I had to walk away from due to the dangerous theology they prescribed to, all those wrong guys I met, and even my ex-husband. He had an unhealthy hold on our lives for a long while after he left me and the older three kids, coming and going on a whim. He made many promises, but we never knew when visits would actually come or how long they’d be-sometimes they’d be for a day, others less than an hour. Finally, a year after I remarried, we talked it out and he chose to sign away parental rights so my present husband could adopt them. My ex and I have spoken very seldom since. He seems to prefer it that way, actually, going out of his way to remain unreachable. So…though there are days I ponder how he is, or, particularly, if he has made peace with the Lord, I know it is best to leave that door closed for mental health’s sake. Not only for mr, but for the kids, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It takes a lot of strength to walk away from some of these things. You are a strong woman and I think it’s awesome that you think about his relationship with the Lord. I’m also learning how to leave things in the past. I’m getting better every day. Thank you for sharing friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That was beautiful. We can’t relive the past, and we shouldn’t. We are a new life in Christ. We can learn from the past while moving forward and focusing on God. But there is one thing we can do, and that is to forgive one another. Whether it’s from something we did or someone else did to us. God Bless

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love your vulnerability in your posts. Recently I’ve been considering reaching out to some people associated with my past. This post gives me good for thought and something to pray about–should I or not? I’ll be seeking God on this. Thanks.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! 😊
      I think that’s wise to search what God says. I’ve had times where I was being guilted by satan to reach back out and it ended up being a bad situation but whenever God has said to do something it has always brought clarity or healing. I’ll keep you in my prayers for clear vision on what to do. 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  4. What an interesting dream! And that’s very wise of you. As for myself, while I have forgiven everyone in my past, I don’t consider reaching out because 1. I’d rather let the bygones be bygones and 2. some people are still living lives contrary to the Bible and Christ.

    It sounds like you honestly think about how they are doing without any resentment, and that is really very nice 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

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