Things don’t seem as they are. This is the little statement that God keeps flashing into my head.
Things are not as they seem.
Things are not how they look.
Things that you see are not as they seem.
This could apply to a lot of things. 😅
However, the three specific area that God has been highlighting is Gods thoughts about me, my relationship with Ben and the third is my illness.
1. Let us start with how I’m personally doing. I have had a lot of insecurity, jealousy and comparison the last year. These things ruin you and let me tell you it did. It brought bitterness into my life, sadness and not feeling worthy. I tend to think that I’m lesser than because I do not have the same success as others but that’s so ludicrous and such a lie from Satan. It’s almost vain too because I do not deserve anything that God gives me and he does not place value on how many likes we get compared to the other. I don’t deserve anything but God has given me so much out of his Grace and goodness. I just need a reminder at times..and I’m so glad that he thinks so highly of this little Italian gal.
2. My relationship with Ben has been hard this year. It’s been difficult to connect and to communicate. A lot of it comes from stress about finances and not relying on God. However, recently I have been making the effort to read the Bible (almost) everyday and I have seen a drastic change in Ben and I. We are communicating better and the atmosphere is much happier.
“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!”Psalms 139:17-18 NLT
3. For my illness…it seems to be a form of spiritual warfare. In case you didn’t know Chronic fatigue is not easy to deal with. It’s not life threatening…no…but it does hinder my life severely. From waking up it is a challenge to get moving and my head is always in a fog. It’s odd but in the evenings I feel more rejuvenated..probably because I spent all morning and afternoon doing things to get some energy…and this does not include coffee. Sorry, my coffee lover friends. Ben and I decided my IV treatment should be every week and that is where we are headed. I do believe part of this is spiritual warfare as it’s just so abnormal for this to happen…I don’t know maybe I need to realize that God is doing something with all of this and I need to endure it to grow. We will see. Either way would love prayers!!
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.”2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NLT