Last night I brought my concerns up to Ben if I should get a job. Being sick, pregnant/postpartum for the last 3.5 years has taken a toll on our savings and I had felt responsible aka guilty for the financial issues we have been having..past and present. On one hand I am very glad and blessed we have had the finances to pay for the medical issues but on the other hand it’s taken time and money to do so. Many dreams have had to be put on hold…Which is all okay but all the hullaballoo has given me some anxious thoughts about our stability. It’s not that we are unstable but there is fear in my heart for the “what if’s” that could make us unstable or never rise above what is currently happening. I know I’m beyond grateful that God has sustained us and that our situation could be worse. But, on occasion, I still have anxiety about the “what if’s.”
So last night Ben and I prayed about my concerns and we both felt that God wants me to continue to write this book I’ve been working on. While I’m so happy this brings direction into our lives…you do not get paid to write. Being a writer means you sacrifice until you provide a book. As we laid our heads down, my husband wanted me to do a prophetic act. He said:
Ben: “Bethany, I need you to stand up and shake like a tree.”
Confused Bethany: “Umm okay?” *stands up, shakes like a tree*
Ben: “This represents you shaking off the old limbs and bringing forth new growth.”
Ahhh yes….you are right ben….Shake off the old limbs….The ones that keep holding you back. You are not a dead tree. There is new growth to be seen. You are made new in Christ and you do not hold onto the dead things of the past anymore!! You have freedom in Christ to walk forward in life. God is the one who has given our family everything…so why would he stop working in our lives now? In Jesus Christ…Take authority over your life. I realize it was so foolish to be anxious and that it’s never a wise decision to believe or abide with the deceiver. Life will always be in Jesus.